a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
