dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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