Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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