who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize