if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
