she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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