she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Randomize