Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
