Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can text with my tongue
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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