im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
