carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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