Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
