Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
