Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
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Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You were trust falling into bushes
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