cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
