the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
