I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
