In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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