Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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