She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
