Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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