I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
