Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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