If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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