Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
