i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
