you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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