I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just cut my nipple shaving
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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