I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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