My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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