I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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