last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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