5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I love having hate sex.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
