I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
