i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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