he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
