U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
