Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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