I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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