You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
