We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Can I color on your dick again?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
