Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
