I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
