You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
this just has baby written all over it
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And then the night went full on bisexual.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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