Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
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