12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
