she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
