so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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