Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Text me some of your sweat
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
