Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
