im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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