Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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