i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
