I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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