You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize