I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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