Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
