I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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