I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
