soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
