I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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