you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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