She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize