Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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