george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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