im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
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Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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