No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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