Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
